CUT!

Oh hey!

I wasn’t expecting to be here. Were you?

Life was picture perfect. Like a preppy Hollywood movie, with a generous serving of Pride and Prejudice for good measure.

I met the man (tall, dark and handsome). Dated him the appropriate number of years. Lived together, travelled, all that jazz. He got down on one knee with a rock so bright I had to squint to see what it was in his sweaty shaking hands.

I said yes.

I bought the dress, we chose the village church, the reception venue in the woods. We delighted over hog roasts and flower displays. The sun shone brightly as we said our vows, then kissed under a floral arch to rapturous applause. He was in a three piece suit with tales, I wore romantic lace. We had never known such happiness.

We added two beautiful bundles to the mix. That’s where the cracks began to appear. Soon enough they were enormous chasms. Impossible to avoid or ignore. Like a volcano, our marriage erupted suddenly, catastrophically, irreparably.

And now we’re here. Life. But not as I knew it. Life: Take Two.

Life’s a bitch bastard and then you marry one. — Anon